Sunday, July 6, 2008

选择相信?



Am I on my own?


最近总是在上一秒觉得困倦,下一秒一躺在床上的时候却又翻来覆去地睡不着。不想想太多,可是思绪仍旧围绕在周围所发生的事,那些过去,以及曾经的伤痛。夜阑人静的时候,人都是沉默而抑郁的么?





想到最近看的戏,结局都是没有想象中的完美。就因为在现实的世界里鲜少会有完美的大结局,因此多少渴求在虚幻的剧情里寻求那丝希望。





有的人说:你看起来真的好坚强,这么快就可以快快乐乐的生活了。





是吗?那是好事吧。或许是在事情还没发生的时候已隐约预见如此的结果,或许是早就已经伤痕累累了。瑟静的深夜里,偶然的思绪被带到昔日的伤痛时,才发现原来自己是那么的不堪一击。曾经想把过去的哀痛深深的埋起来,奢望着善忘自己很快就将它们遗忘。忙碌的日子里,我的确将它们淡忘,模糊了,就连轮廓也渐渐的,看不清了。偶然,锐利的思绪一不小心在同一个伤疤上划上一小刀时,脆弱的伤疤立即破裂。当日埋藏的地点丝毫不误的记得。那样的清晰。深深的质疑着,我是不是真的完全复原了。





就因为复原了,所以很多事都不再介怀了不是么?就因为复原了,所以存在与否已经不再是一个问题了不是么?就因为复原了,所以很多往事已然淡忘。揪紧的心,疼痛得快让人窒息。是因为往事不堪回首,所以哀伤?





不再介怀是事实,没有牵挂亦是事实。





只是不想再去触碰那依然脆弱的伤痕。只是不愿记起往日的伤痛。只是不敢再去随心所欲的在感情上推心置腹。很多窝心的话语在瞬间蜕变成丑恶的谎言,冷峻的事实彷佛一把锐利的尖刀直刺内心最脆弱处。开始害怕相信会有真心。战战兢兢的心情。





想平静的过好生活。相信着总有一天伤痕会结痂。相信总有一天伤疤只会是一道伤疤。选择相信身边真诚的友谊与亲情。

6 comments:

snail evelyn said...

Wah wah.. seriously,i feel the same as you lah! especially this....
很多窝心的话语在瞬间蜕变成丑恶的谎言,冷峻的事实彷佛一把锐利的尖刀直刺内心最脆弱处。

Sometimes don't even want to rmbr those wordsss yet it still appear somehow. -.- knowing that we can actually do nothing about it,might as well live with it,as it's part and parcel of our lives.

But frankly,after going through all these...It's not as easy as last time to believe another person anymore. Will think alot and consider alot. however i think that's the way for us to learn how to love ourselves moreeeee. =)

Find way outta it. There are too many things we need to deal with and really shouldnt let all these keep haunting us. Believe in urself more than anyone else... *huggies*

Yingying said...

Yaya sometimes I feel the same as you too~Maybe in daily life we didnt talk much but somehow you understand what I feel so well :D

Haha *nods* =) Agree with what you said...trying my best to achieve tht, and guess I just cant really afford to think back those stuffs yet, hopefully will fully recover from it soon :)

Hmm yea, placing full trust in someone wasnt as easy anymore after all, will tend to think twice, think trice, think think think :D

Anywaysss, thanks a lot ayte ;) *huggies*

Bi||y仔 said...

伤心的事情必然会发生,我们应该珍惜曾经拥有过、所度过的开心过回忆,而不是活在那伤心的世界里。很多时候许下的诺言只是有效在于那一刹那,而不是永远,所以才会变成谎言。要怎么去解决它,一切都在你控制中。

u still have us, especially me ~ XD
i will try my best to make u laugh at least once a day (excluding weekends and holiday unless u online) hehe ~ XD

anyway , i'm just crapping around XD

Yingying said...

Hmm yea :)
There are some times when those promises 'expired', and, i'm trying to forget them =)

Hahaha xD Thanks a lot ya! At least you succeeded at ur very 1st attempt :D teehee~

Kent said...

伤痕无法消除,
因为它已是你记忆的一部分。
我们也只有去接受它,正视它。

虽然我没经历过某些东西,
但我也曾经,
把某个痛,埋在深处。
以为时间久了,就会淡忘。。。
但其实不然。
一切是那么的容易,就浮现出来,
无论我把视线转的多远。
最后又伤害多一次。

后来学会了去面对它。
我不再逃避,不再尝试把它淡忘。
那一切都是我的回忆。

接受过去,活在当下,展望未来。
祝 生活愉快 =)

Yingying said...

*sighs*
Actually until now I also duno which solution is the best, 'cause when I thought I could actually forgot them, somehow they suddenly came back sometimes =(
Hmm, love the 2nd last sentence ;) hehe~
Same to you ayte, gambateh & thanks a lot~! :)