Untitled

Somehow I lost myself when I was persuing certain things in the past.

Things that I thought I should have go after.

Things that I thought it would be important to myself.

Somehow things didn't go in the way it should have been.


Shouldnt have place too much hope after all.

Of Dark Knight and My Lame-ness

This is what I get after putting it into the washing machine T___T

*regret*

Do you guys have any idea of what it is actually? =X

*********

Went for "Journey To The Center Of The Earth" and "The Dark Knight" recently and both of them are GOOD, especially The Dark Knight, awwwesomee ;) It's really good in the sense that it is one of the movies that actually make people THINK ( okay maybe just for me ) about what kinda message they wanna bring out through this movie :)

This one would be greater if you watch the 3D version =)

*if you dont mind paying double price for it ;P

p.s.Christian Bale is sooooooooooo good looking :D Hee!

*spoiler warning : don't read the following paragraphs if you gonna watch this movie ayte :)

This movie is awwwwesome!! I dun mind watching it again, so yah, anyone wanna watch it? I just tag along lar, haha =D

At first I tho batman is gonna die ler *Ding's fault* xD But I really feel sorry for him, I meant, Batman :(

Can you imagine how much of burden lying on his shoulder yet he cant just left it? Poor thing =(

Heath Ledger ( The Joker ) and Aaron Eckhart ( Two-Face ) are superb actors, like seriously! Especially Heath Ledger!! Man he's so good!! No doubt I have expected much more when I heard so much of compliments about this movie, yet it didnt disappoint me. In fact, I actually thought of a lot of stuffs after the movie i.e. about human nature and stuffs like that. Joker thought that people would actually ended up in fear / being selfish and kill each other before they were killed. Of which I think people would actually act in that way ( with kill-them-before-they-kill-us thought ) in reality. There're just so many things that we wont know until the last minute, ryte?

he’s a deadly, dangerous, semi-suicidal psychopath who also happens to be brilliant

I love the parts when the Joker appeared! =) And the way he said : Why so serious? and Let's put a smile on that face. It really made the hair at the back of ppl's neck stands =S Can you imagine when he said that to you? You will NEVER know what he gonna do next. Owh ya and the part when he said sth about people get scared and panic when he's to bomb the hospital instead of the army, they panic just because it's NOT in their plan. People plan a lot, and whenever things don't go as what they planned, they get panicked and everything goes haywire.

Scary though, when I thought of his expression when he retold how he get those scars on his face =X I meant, not scary as in his expression or whatsoever, it's the unpredictable acts that he's gonna do. *btw there's two version? =X or it's that he's just merely creating stories? That part I dun really understand though

And not to forget about Aaron Eckhart ( Two-Face). When a good man just turn into someone so cruel and full of hatred feelings deep within him right after the death of her fiancee. Is it his true nature underneath his decent face? ( though he became two-face after that because of joker ) Or he's merely pursuing justice in another way?

It's so shocking when someone's characteristics could be totally distorted in just that one incident, in that one day, in that one change of mindset.

Anyways, the two-face made me went 'urhhh-oh-my-god' with hands clasped on my mouth :( *I actually did that almost all the time during the movie* So scary weyy, with the eyeball bulging outwards like tht >.< So O-M-G.

Okay I have been talking so much on it. And I still have more to talk! :P I think I dreamt of one of the scene before =X Seriously. Although not exactly the same but something like that which made me kinda shocked at the time I watched it 'cause I had the dream so long time ago- before I knew this movie is coming out. Cath said I can become the producer of movie ady xD *proud* hahahahaha~! Lol.

*end of spoiler* :D

Some said boring but some said it's superb *and yah, including me! ;) hehe!

I'm soooo gonna watch it again. Oh ya, and the Kung Fu Panda which I wanna watch again :)

Waiting for the WALL-E movie ~* Awwwwww it's uber cute don't you think so *melts*

************

Gonna settle the moral thingy tmr perhaps, hopefully it'll be alright *sighs*

Today I was telling my friend not to give so much of attention on moral 'cause it's nothing much and as long as he did the course and do whatever the requirement he'll savely obtain a P.

(vague recap)

Me : Moral nothing one lar, just do the course work can pass dy.

Him : Huh yameh? Meant no need to study?

Me : Yeah no need to study, just tembak. Very easy one.

Him and his friend : But you failed worr....?

Me : ...........*oh-so-stupid*

*I forgot that I failed my moral*

Ishhhhk !!!!

Rants rants rants.

My recent life is not going on that well.

*pause*

In fact it has been very bad for me.

*pause again*

Life sucks man. T_________T

*sighs*


Quite a few things that happened this few days and I dunno where to start now =X

Hmm, just talk about the 'driving on my own' plan, which has been 'terminated' so far due to my lousy driving skill and lack of concentration =(

At 1st my dad planned to let me drive on my own to college back and forth from this week onwards, and just right before Monday he told me that he'll just continue following me. Felt slightly disaapointed, I nodded. ( Actually deep inside I expected that ady )

2nd time is on the Wednesday. He was planning to let me drive to college on my own on Thursday since my Friday class ends at 6pm, while my bro and sis' class ends at almost the same time as well. Knowing the traffic jam that we all would suffer if he fetch either of us first, he actually considering to let me drive to college. So, Thursday would be the 'trial'. Guess what? Right before I going to sleep he came upstairs and told me he'll just tag along on Thursday. I burst out laughing okay =X Well you might think that something is wrong elsewhere with me BUT that kinda of response from him was what I expected too =) No disappointment this time.

Anyway, the worse thing 'officially' started on Thursday whereby my relationship with my dad became very, very sour onwards. ( In fact I was having a very bad mood since I-dunno-when, and I could get irritated VERY easily ) I 'overlooked' a bike and nearly bang it :( Sounds scary eh? I'm sure that I looked left and right before I drove out of the junction, BUT I didnt see that bike :( Maybe it's dark ( that time was just 6am sth ) or something blocked him or whatsoever, I get scolded like sh*t after that *sighs* Not to mention that I forgot to make sure my house gate closed properly before I drove off-and I got it from my dad as well. He started picking on my mistakes and everything I did seemed wrong in his eyes. EVERYTHING okayyy? I kept quiet all the way from my house to college though deep inside I was really really angry.

Ever since I started driving last year, NOTHING I did would satisfy him.

Bah! I know things that he did is for my own good, but I'm in a real bad mood now, so just let me rant on these kayyy? =(

Well, the cold war between me and my dad begun since then, with both of us treating each other coldly :( I didnt wanna make the first move. I'm always not the one who make the first move. Anyway he kept quiet all the way when I drove to college. For the whole journey of around 40 mins there was only the sound of car engine.

I started 'fight' back this evening, whereby I have mistaken the place he asked me to wait for him, and he got uber angry because he has to rush to fetch my bro and sis. Not totally my fault though. Communication breakdown. And so I fighted back by pointing that he's not giving instructions properly blah blah blah. My patience and anger reached the boiling point and I couldnt just keep quiet anymore. He got very angry 'cause I argued back. Normally I would just keep quiet. But I didnt overdo it, didnt say anything bad or whatsoever, I merely protested that I wasnt the one who shud be blamed. Who knows if I get thrown out of the car after that. I dun wanna walk all the way back to Kepong kay :D

Rants rants rants.

Proudly present to you my moral studies' result....

.....

...

..

...

.....

An effin' F

I felt so so so upset =(

even though I didnt really take moral seriously.

even though I cant really believe it.

BUT

I hafta re-do it if that's really my result kay? *dammit*

Moral studies isnt that easy kay?

What the heck.

*sighs*

T_______T

Why it just have to go this way? =(

**************************

My new cutie a.k.a 'mui tan xi' ( kindly pronounce it in cantonese :D )

It's from Totoro if I'm not mistaken =)

Cute eh? =)

A lil' present from my sis :D

Evidence of Ding torturing my cutie =(

Beat him for me =P

hehehe~






I need to chill and relax, to get away from all these...

Hoping things will go back on track

or at least just dont be that bad for me can?

*sighs*

So tired of all these, including those involving my personal life.

p.s. Got a big surprise yesterday :D It feels good to meet someone you really know in the same college =) Heyy, if you so happened to be reading this, a BIG thank youuuuu kay ;) Really happy to see you there! And hope to see ya real soon!~* :D

p.p.s. Evelyn, I updated it ady, hehe~! :D See till now also I havent change my blog skin :P

Of memories & random stuffs

- Just wanna be myself -

There are certain things that I have not prepared to face so soon, perhaps. I may still need some time for myself, and I'm trying my level best to achieve it :)

Emo-ness strikes sometimes, and I'm glad that there're friends who willing to listen to my crappings and console me :P Thanks a lot ya =)

( p.s. thanks for the 'someone' doc as well :D That's a really nice one )


******

Hmm hmm, finally my new sem started dy and so far I'm still...quite free :P

Okayy lar there's something basic that I have forgotten and I got rather irritated by myself when doing those class exercise and so forth =( *sighs* Plus I'm having Law this sem, and I'm pretty fear of it, due to the bulk information that we have to 'swallow' ( not 'absorb' xD ) Why must we have at least a theory paper each sem eh? *sniff*

What the point of forcing us to memorize so much at a time huh? *By now I ady forgot T5 :P

There's something that I'm sooooooo DISSATISFIED. The timetable. A 3-hours-class per day and I have to travel all the way from Kepong to Sunway. Sheer waste of petrol and time. Although I was rather delighted when I 1st saw the timetable ( cuz I expected our class to end at night, or that it'll be packed with classes, according to rumours :D )

AND one of the lecturer *double sighs* I just got so ANNOYED with that teaching method of this lecturer, but too bad, she's the only one for this particular subject and there's no option but to continue bearing with her *triple sighs*

This is seriously testing my patience. Half a year weyyyyyyyyyy :(

Anywaysss...went to this vegetarian restaurant with my DAD at 1 U :)

Awwwwwwesome interior design ! ;)

I can see myself in the mirror~ :P

Fish head Bihun

Mung bean soup!!! Me Love :D

( p.s. Yiyi I lazy to cook that worr, next time we go there and eat larr xD hahhaha )

Green Tea~* Love it! =)

Another outing with my friends the saturday before my new sem started @ Mid Valley~;)

Cai See and Me =)

We 'dumped' the guys at Chilli's and went jalan - jalan ourselves at Gardens xD~

Got so interested with their designs and we went and 'observed' the streams ( those at the back of Cai See :P )

She's a very sweet and nice gurl =)

Miss you loads~*!

Kai Wen had to carry our bags since both of us were so slow ( to went back from Gardens to Chilli's to meet up with them ) ;P

Both of us refused to take it back and kai wen ended up carrying it all the way in the mall :P hehehe~ I know I very mean lar, BUT i discovered something also, which is- kai wen's so gentleman xD

*snaps*

In the washroom at Gardens.

This picture made him looked 'one-eyed' hahaha xP~!

Went for 'Get Smart' at Jusco Kepong, and I watched it for the 2nd time. Not bad though, I discovered, or to say I noticed some parts that I didnt really pay attention to when I watched it for the 1st time :) hehe

Talking about movie...I'm so looking forward to watch this movie >>

The Dark Knight

This movie looks awesome :) ~*

My baby milo T-shirt =D

Cutieeee~*

my doggie outside my house :P

Owh I miss those in this picture sooooooo much.

And this.

I don't think we could ever gather back as it was =(

Anyways, still miss you guys and the time we shared a lot!! =)

p.s. crappy connection and something went wrong with my computer :( *sniff*

100 'sorry's

sorry.

今天期中考，学校早一点放学，我打了通电话给他。：喂，我今天比较早放学，你来载我回家好不好？







：好，等我五分钟。



：五分钟？我学校就在你家旁边耶。



：我总要打扮一下啊。



：好啦，快一点喔。







下午2：00，太阳大的让我有种冲动想喷鼻血，我站在树荫下挥动着手，虽然没凉到哪里去，但是煽总比不煽好。 五分钟过了，他还没来，我看看手表，有点不高兴，十分钟过了，他还没到..，该不会出了什么事吧？呸呸呸...乌鸦嘴，十五分钟过了，他总算到了。







：怎么这么慢？他一副无所谓的样子说



：没啊，看个电视。



什么？看个电视？你要不要顺便睡个觉洗个澡吃个饭再来？



我没有说话，没有拿安全帽，没有上车的瞪着他。



：对不起。这是他第一次对我说对不起，他是一个很大男人主义，爱面子的男生，所以他从不像女生低头说对不起，我看着他，好吧，似乎面有惭色，我带上安全帽，让他载我回家。



他总是这样，从来不解释，不争论，不跟我吵架，只跟我说对不起，有些事，不是一句对不起就能解决的，但是他都跟我道歉了，我也就没再追究下去，他说，我是第一个让他说对不起的女生。



认错需要很大的勇气，但是他从来都没有改进他的错误，对不起反而变成一种打发我的话。



在他说第59次对不起时，我流着泪，低下头说：你不要再跟我说对不起了，如果你无法改变，就不要让我给你一次又一次的机会，相信你会改变。他轻轻的拥着我，说了第60句对不起。 虽然如此，他还是没有改变，不做任何的解释，我开始怀疑他是不是有事瞒着我。







：你最近怎么了？



：没有啊。



：那你为什么心情不好？



：没有啊。



：又是没有啊，你除了这句话以外没有别的吗？你知不知道我很担心，很没有安全感，你到底有没有当我是你女朋友？



：...对不起。



：我不要听你说对不起。我挂了电话，他也没有打来，他根本就不在乎我，也许，我们该结束ㄌ..........这是他说的第99句对不起....。







从那天开始，我再也没有找过他，他也没有打电话给我，有时候，我会接到一通无声的电话，但是我喂了几声，就挂了，有一种直觉是他，但是他为什么都不说话？一个月之后，我按奈不住思念的心情决定到他学校找他，我在教室外东张西望的，就是没有看到他的人影，我随便抓了一个男生来问。 ：同学，请问一下，梦伟今天有来吗？：他休学了。







：啊？为什么？什么时候的事？



：他已经一个月没来了。



：...喔..谢谢。







一个月..一个月没来，怎么会呢？我跌跌撞撞的回到家..拨他的手机：您的电话已经为您转到语音信箱，请在嘟一声...。我挂了电话，打到他家，响了好久都没有人接，怎么会？全家移民吗？他仿佛是从这世界上消失了一样，没有一点痕迹。 他该不会另结新欢了吧？我开始胡思乱想，我找不到他..，



正当我烦恼的时候，电话突然响了，是阿立打来的，他是梦伟的死党也是我的好友。：喂，你还在干嘛啊？：什么？：伟在医院啦。



：真的？他怎么了？



：没有啦，他在○○医院，就是你上次住的那一家。



：我马上去。我立刻用我出生以来最大的速度飙到那家医院，在医院看到了他和妈妈，我向他们问了他在哪一间病房之后，就急忙的飞奔而去。 他躺在床上，眼睛看着我，没有说话，没有起床，一动也不动的。







：喂，你怎么了？为什么不通知我呢？ 他没有回答我，只是一直用同样的眼神看着我。



：回答我啊，你为什么不说话？ 他眼角留下了一滴泪，身体仿佛用了最大的力气，牵动着嘴角



：...对不起...。说完，他闭上了眼睛。



：喂，你别装了好不好，为什么要说对不起，我不要你说对不起啊，你起来啊，回答我啊。我哭倒在他床边，拉着他的衣服哭喊着



：你为什么要说对不起，连说服我的理由都没有？我不会原谅你，你起来啊，你说对不起没有用啊，你不起来我这辈子都不会原谅你，我求求你....睁开眼睛啊...。



这是他说的一百句对不起...一群医生和护士拉开我，开始抢救他，我全身没有力气再站起来，我的头脑一片空白，眼前一片漆黑..。







他没有离开这个世界，只是我永远都无法触摸到他，但他有时也会在我的梦中出现，告诉我他过的好不好。 他还是陪着我，还是活着，在我心里，他依然如昔，还是会笑着叫我咏熙，叫我老婆，只是..他不再对我说对不起了...。过了几个月，他妈妈来找我，给了我一个盒子，里面装的，是一百张照片，每一张照片的背面，都写着它让我生气的事情。第一次对不起，老婆，我今天不是故意迟到的，我也知道理由很烂，但是我真的不忍心说实话，我在出门前突然心脏绞痛，但是我已经尽量赶了，原谅我好吗？



第二次对不起?老婆，我..........第三次对不起，老婆，我...第一百次对不起，老婆，我不是狠心要丢下你，只是上帝似乎不给我这个机会让我爱你一辈子，为你带上戒指，你是我第一个让我说对不起的女孩，也是我第一个想共度一生的女孩，原谅我不能给你幸福，我会化作天使，守护着你，看着你得到幸福，答应我，别哭，我不要看到你为了我憔悴流泪的样子，我爱你。--梦伟



我怎么可能不哭，你的要求太严苛了，最后一张照片，是他在医院理拍的，照片上他笑的很灿烂，他变的好瘦，脸色好苍白，但是他还是露出了笑容，拍这第 一百张照片。 在他最虚弱罪痛苦的时候，我没有陪着他。 对不起。 我抱着他的照片，泪流不止！！

选择相信？

Am I on my own?

最近总是在上一秒觉得困倦，下一秒一躺在床上的时候却又翻来覆去地睡不着。不想想太多，可是思绪仍旧围绕在周围所发生的事，那些过去，以及曾经的伤痛。夜阑人静的时候，人都是沉默而抑郁的么？





想到最近看的戏，结局都是没有想象中的完美。就因为在现实的世界里鲜少会有完美的大结局，因此多少渴求在虚幻的剧情里寻求那丝希望。





有的人说：你看起来真的好坚强，这么快就可以快快乐乐的生活了。





是吗？那是好事吧。或许是在事情还没发生的时候已隐约预见如此的结果，或许是早就已经伤痕累累了。瑟静的深夜里，偶然的思绪被带到昔日的伤痛时，才发现原来自己是那么的不堪一击。曾经想把过去的哀痛深深的埋起来，奢望着善忘自己很快就将它们遗忘。忙碌的日子里，我的确将它们淡忘，模糊了，就连轮廓也渐渐的，看不清了。偶然，锐利的思绪一不小心在同一个伤疤上划上一小刀时，脆弱的伤疤立即破裂。当日埋藏的地点丝毫不误的记得。那样的清晰。深深的质疑着，我是不是真的完全复原了。





就因为复原了，所以很多事都不再介怀了不是么？就因为复原了，所以存在与否已经不再是一个问题了不是么？就因为复原了，所以很多往事已然淡忘。揪紧的心，疼痛得快让人窒息。是因为往事不堪回首，所以哀伤？





不再介怀是事实，没有牵挂亦是事实。





只是不想再去触碰那依然脆弱的伤痕。只是不愿记起往日的伤痛。只是不敢再去随心所欲的在感情上推心置腹。很多窝心的话语在瞬间蜕变成丑恶的谎言，冷峻的事实彷佛一把锐利的尖刀直刺内心最脆弱处。开始害怕相信会有真心。战战兢兢的心情。





想平静的过好生活。相信着总有一天伤痕会结痂。相信总有一天伤疤只会是一道伤疤。选择相信身边真诚的友谊与亲情。

Rojak

This will be a rojak post whereby I mix all those tiny tiny things in this one whole post :D *reminds me of SS15's rojak* Okay let's don't talk about food now =(

************

Finally I have made my decision not to take up ICAEW, hence I choose not to attend the interview as well :D ( Lazy larrrr wanna go there for interview while I dy confirm tht I wont be taking the course ;P ) I still wanna be lazy for two more years :P And with my english level do you seriously think I can go out and work? =="


Anyway, good luck to Jovan and Wei Chian, whom I knew so far they decided to take ICAEW, and good luck to Ding, Liyun and Ethan as well in their interviews ;)

Watched Hancock on the 3rd of July after our Law class, (yep I'm taking Law this semester and hopefully I wont die xD ) 13 of us ( I think) went for this movie together and we took the whole row :D hehe~ The storyline was okayy lar, it wasnt as good as I expected anyway. I expected it to be..hmm..more action-packed, and I dun really like the ending whereby the main actor and actress cannot be together for the rest of their life =(

Why the ending of the movies nowadays like tht one eh? The incredible hulk also =( I love happy ending :) Even though in reality there would hardly be any happy ending. To not be pessimistic, but just to be realistic. Normally we would expect things to go our way, yet in fact someting would just go wrong somewhere and all the wishes, dreams and hopes will be just a big big impossible. I meant, come on, it would be a rare case if everything in your life ( even in ONE particular day ) just follow the way you want it to be ryte?

*******

Somehow my dad's considering to let me drive to college. Finallyyyyyy :D

It's not 'implemented' yet but at least I MIGHT have the chance of driving on my own ( Gosh I feel so nervous =X ) When I wasnt given the chance to drive on my own I was so looking forward to tht and now, I kinda wish someone can fetch me everytime :P I'm so forgetful and clumsy, I might just forgot to lock my car, or forgot where I parked my car whatsoever...And someone please save me okay when I'm in any trouble? Okay okay? Thank you xD hehehe~! And book one parking place for me ar if you can, thank you so much :D ( Planning for my future, hahaha! )

***********

The new semester just started few days ago and so far it's okayy...I miss Ms.Shanta and Mr.Jay =( Wondering when we got the chance to be taught by them again? :) I'm taking law, performance management and tax this sem~! Yiyi I'm taking LAW lerr~~~*sniff sniff* We'll never get to escape from the fate of studying this subject, lol~ Let's pray I wont die okay? xD hehe~

Okay I think I somehow forgot what I wanna blog about =( Maybe I will get Alzheimer's disease when I'm old *gasp* I hafta really pray hard so that I wont get it *cries* =(